Thursday 21 February 2013

Why couples happier as their children get older


 
1. You can have quality time together.
It's been a long time since you've had the opportunity to really spend time on prioritizing your relationship rather than running carpools. Now's the time to to get back to date nights and renew your appreciation of each other.


2. You can fight in peace.
As adults, you know that conflicts are part of a normal relationship, but when kids hear you having one, it's scary. Now that they're out of the house, you can have your conflicts in private, allowing you to repair them properly so you can get closer.


3. There's far less stress.
The more people there are, the more needs there are to attend to. Once the kids are gone, the majority of the time, you can focus on the needs of each other.
 

4. There's time to relight the romance.
As kids become more independent, couples have more guilt-free "us" time. When kids are young, meeting their needs often takes a village - and when there is no village available , both parents must devote almost 100% of their energy and time to manage and meet those needs. 



5. Your activities become more mature.
Family time includes activities that adults actually enjoy versus activities that are mostly child-centered. There is nothing more amazing than taking your kids to Disneyland as a couple and realizing that you didn't even set foot in Toon Town! As your kids grow, you can share new, exciting, adventurous experiences together as a family that will strengthen your relationship like it did when you were first dating.
 

6. Less hands-on care means more time for you.
As children develop, they become more self-sufficient and require less hands-on care and less eye-to-eye time. As constant dependence lessens over time, parents aren't so tired and "consumed," and have more time for their own self-care, their relationship with each other and their own friendships.


7. There's more help around the house.
When the kids can help more around the house, couples and their families can do more of the fun stuff, together and with the kids. Many cultures recruit their kids into helping with the household chores at a very young age.


8. You can go places ... without the kids!
Couples can enjoy more date nights and travel when they feel comfortable leaving the kids behind. Whether the kids can take care of themselves or stay with a sitter or another family, a whole renewed freedom is back in their lives.


9. You gain more "me" time.
As children grow older, they become more independent and spend much less time with mom or dad. You can actually have private bathroom time! This is a gift that parents long for, as they now have time for themselves. In return, this creates a sense of calmness, emotional peace and harmony for mom and dad.


10. You can get your "sexy" back.
When you're so tired at the end of the day from running after your young children, the last thing you want to do is have sex. Many couples will say to each other, "I'll take a rain check, honey." Remember as children get older, mommy and daddy's energy returns, and so does "sexy time."


11. ... And your intimacy.
I'm not talking sexy time here, ladies. I'm talking about regaining intimacy with your partner. Time to talk, spend time together and actually having a conversation without your kid saying, "I need to go potty." As kids age, they are usually not sitting on your lap when you are trying to have a serious conversation with your spouse.


12. There's more time to spend alone.
While older children need us there, they don't want to spend so much time with us; in fact, sometimes they don't want to be seen dead with us! As children get older, we can leave them alone more and go out together again, experiencing some of the freedom we had before they came along.


13. It's easier to talk with our children about relationship matters.
While 7-year-old may find the concept of mummy and daddy time a little perplexing, a twelve-year-old will understand it a little more. Explaining to older children why you want to spend time as a couple is much easier and much more likely to be understood. And when children understand more, they are more likely to allow you what you need: time together.


14. Your kids need you less.
When children are small they need you all of the time. Most of your time and energy is devoted towards them and it's exhausting, leaving little energy for having a relationship with anyone else. As our children grow older and require less of us in all sorts of ways, we become less exhausted and more able to put energy into the relationship with our other half again.


15. You are not the center of your child's world anymore.
And when you are not the center of your child's world, it allows you to be the center of someone else's. While love is not infinite, I personally find it very hard to give all my love equally to so many people. So when your child doesn't need you in the same capacity, it allows you to fall in love with your partner all over again, in a different way.

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